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Sometimes this is just how things go on dating apps, Xiques says. Time and resources are limited, while matches, at least in theory, are not. And that, for me, was really important. Wood also found that for some respondents especially male respondents , apps had effectively replaced dating; in other words, the time other generations of singles might have spent going on dates, these singles spent swiping. One big challenge of knowing how dating apps have affected dating behaviors, and in writing a story like this one, is that most of these apps have only been around for half a decade—hardly long enough for well-designed, relevant longitudinal studies to even be funded, let alone conducted.

Eli Finkel, however, a professor of psychology at Northwestern and the author of The All-or-Nothing Marriage , rejects that notion. The other subtle ways in which people believe dating is different now that Tinder is a thing are, quite frankly, innumerable.

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There are equally compelling arguments that dating apps have made dating both more awkward and less awkward by allowing matches to get to know each other remotely before they ever meet face-to-face—which can in some cases create a weird, sometimes tense first few minutes of a first date. They can help users locate other LGBTQ singles in an area where it might otherwise be hard to know—and their explicit spelling-out of what gender or genders a user is interested in can mean fewer awkward initial interactions. When Ingram Hodges, a freshman at the University of Texas at Austin, goes to a party, he goes there expecting only to hang out with friends.

When it does happen, people are surprised, taken aback.

The Atlantic Crossword

I pointed out to Hodges that when I was a freshman in college—all of 10 years ago—meeting cute people to go on a date with or to hook up with was the point of going to parties. Hodges knows that there was a time, way back in the day, when people mostly met through school, or work, or friends, or family.

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She and her boyfriend met on Tinder in , and they soon discovered that they lived in the same neighborhood. Another woman fantasized to me about what it would be like to have a man hit on her in a bookstore … But then she seemed to snap out of her reverie, and changed the subject to Sex and the City reruns and how hopelessly dated they seem. Finkel, for one, believes that the new boundaries between romance and other forms of social interaction have their benefits—especially in a time when what constitutes sexual harassment, especially in the workplace, is being renegotiated.

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