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In his experience, Nick says it's also common for Western men to be targeted as potential sugar daddies, recalling one first date in which the guy queried Nick about his income, and then asked that Nick buy him a new phone. Nick said while some expats feel used when Chinese dates approach them for their language skills, "exotic" looks or presumed wealth, Nick himself is holding fast to his predilection for Asian guys. But he says it's less a fetish as it is a personal preference.
No matter whether you are white, yellow or black. It's just about what you like.
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Some like muscles; some like tall people. With a stable job, a solid group of friends and a comfortable home complete with a cat, he's committed to living in China long term. He doesn't even mind that he can't get married. Thanks to growing mainstream acceptance of China's LGBT community, including an increase in services like dating apps aimed at this demographic, it's become easier for gay expats to live and date in China. The perks and pitfalls of dating as a foreigner Luke, a year-old Brit living in Nantong, Jiangsu Province, was enjoying a stroll through the park with his new friend, a cute young Chinese doctor, when their conversation came to a screeching halt.
Maybe you could be my boyfriend. Luke, who works in education, has traveled and lived all across China since coming here in , most recently settling in Nantong. In that time, he's found that being young and foreign not only attracts the attention of locals, but adds to his popularity in the gay dating scene, which can sometimes lead to cultural misunderstandings, or, as in this case, an excess of enthusiasm.
Sometimes, instances of Chinese guys coming on too strong, he says, stem from a misapprehension of Western culture. The doctor, for example, having heard that Westerners were more "direct," assumed this meant that he should "directly" ask Luke if he wanted to be his boyfriend. Like Nick, Luke says he often draws more attention than locals on dating apps, which he has mixed feelings about. Still, he admitted, the fact that his popularity derives from his "foreignness" makes him feel uncomfortable.
Although Luke is open about his sexuality and is out to all of his family and friends in the UK, he doesn't plan to come out to his Chinese colleagues. Among his gay Chinese friends, he adds, many have come out to their families without being rejected. Of course, culture shock still exists in intercultural dating scenarios.
For instance, Kerr said, while in the US, it's still strongly expected that the dominant or more masculine partner foot the bill, in China it's rare that he's allowed to pay, as he's considered a guest in the country. Another big difference is attitudes toward sex. And like others, Kerr has experienced the mixed blessing and curse of being a foreigner: "There's still a pretty large part of the LGBT community in China that exoticizes Westerners, so I tend to get a lot of attention from people in clubs or online just because I'm obviously foreign.
Sometimes it can make people seem insincere. Yet a more positive spin on many Chinese men's attraction to foreigners is the fact that it allows them to escape the baggage of their own culture, and express themselves in a whole new way, he said.
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